Carl’s Eulogy for Sarah

“My mom really loved a great visual medium and she never shied away from going the extra mile so in her honor I’m going to tell a few stories with photos as aids…especially because I could use the crutch of a Powerpoint presentation to help me along as I get warmed up in delivering a speech like this.

When it came to all the facets of my mom’s personality, accomplishments, and loves….there were too many to list, she was a kaleidoscope.  She was an artist, architect, mom, wife, sister, friend, athlete, singer, dancer, vocabulary fiend, village builder, life-long student, ping pong assassin, and so much more.  She was so versatile and multifaceted….but the throughline of her life and personality was everything she did she did with joy and she did to the absolute best of her abilities.  

So today, with my limited time I’m going to focus on a few of the things that Sarah was.

Sarah was a…

When my mom was young she was unlucky enough to have 3 brothers.  They were all great athletes.  All of which came from their mom and especially their dad, The Big Chief.  

Ping pong was one of the family’s love languages.  The court was a place to laugh, yell, smile, and most of all…compete.  

They competed. A lot. And the big boisterous Haugh Household drew neighborhood kids and parents in like moths to a flame for ping pong and martinis.  Sometimes I feel like I was born with a ping pong paddle in my hand.  There was no way I wasn’t going to be a part of the family battles.  And my mom was very happy to have me join.  However, even though she was playing her young son she was not some milquetoast opponent.  

While her dad was the driving force behind ping pong her mom, Sally, was an amazing tennis player and she developed and encouraged all of her kids’ interest in tennis.  My mom loved to reminisce about the days of battling Sal on the tennis court.  She would tell Sarah “you can’t call me ‘Mom’ out here on the court, out here we’re not mother and daughter, we’re not friends, we’re COMPETITORS!”   I wish I could remember the nickname they came up for Sally but it sounded like the name of a supervillian.  

So when it came to my mom and I playing ping pong - we also battled it out as competitors, not Mom and Son.  I loved this side of my mom and I loved our battles.  As an adult, we started a tradition of me taking a picture every time we had a good scrap.  She thought it was hilarious too.  

She was more than a great ping pong player, though.  She loved all manners of sports.  

She loved whiffle ball with her brothers on the beaches of Mexico

and she loved to ski…here’s a great pic of her with her cousin, Sam 

….anyway! back to ping pong.  

My sister, Ash, never caught the ping pong bug but that didn’t stop my mom from trying to pass it along to her granddaughter, Piper.  

Sarah was also extremely dramatic with the way she played….it was pretty analogous to how she lived life. She had enough energy and flair to go around.   

From her I learned to be extremely dramatic and …effervescent on the court.  Here are the two of us, teamed up for doubles, looking equally incredulous that we lost a point to our opponents because it RARELY happened

Here she is doing one of her famous “ninja kicks” - she’d get one of her legs out, completely parallel with the ground.  

Even with chemo and cancer she was still fierce as hell

And this text will always make me smile.  It’s full of energy and optimism and happiness and self-deprecation.  

And this is a pic from our favorite dive bar in SF. 

On the right is my good friend, Parker, and the dive bar’s chef who brought out the tomahawk chop to show it’s as big as grandson Nico.  Also, the chef made us wait to take the picture so he could get his prized hockey stick - he wanted to show off and look cool for this picture he was excited to be a part of. I show this pic because it perfectly demonstrates how much she was a magnet for all kinds of people.  Mostly because she was so fun and welcoming.  Look at her expression, it’s amazing.  

Anyway, that’s enough ping pong for now. 

My mom was also an…. 

As pretty much everyone knows, she and Rick sailed often throughout their lives and when they retired they bought an amazingly beautiful and timeless single-hull sailboat.  

This is a hilarious picture of my mom and I facetiming - she was extremely excited to show off her new prized possession.   

When they bought “High Spirits” I had a job at a company that completely shut down for most of December so I was lucky enough to spend extended time in the Carribean with Mom and Rick, 2 years in a row.  Here is my mom piloting the dingy, named Sarita…while wearing pearls of course.  And a great pic of her at the helm of the big ship. 

 We did a lot more than sail, though.  We smoked cigars and drank cocktails with props.

We would jump off the boat, swim to shore, and then spend the day hiking around little islands.

We played Liars Dice and drank whiskey. 

We laughed a lot.

And my mom even smoked the occasional cigarette (but only if they were French)

And here is a picture I’m so thankful I had the presence of mind to take.  This was Christmas eve lunch at some swanky resort we snuck onto, Mom’s dressed to the nines, and in her hand is one of the 3 water guns she brought to make this event even more fun and celebratory.  

Speaking of celebratory - every new island and bar and restaurant we went to was a celebration because all the owners, managers, servers, and bussers were so delighted to see she’d returned.  It was amazing how she made people feel.  Here she is with a few of her favorite people from the Caribbean.  

The Santa Hats were of course gifts she brought to give to her beloved friends.  

And my last pic of the Caribbean is from her Instagram feed.  I loved to give her shit because she would take beautiful pics of the cerulean blue seas and incendiary red sunsets - and then she’d crank the saturation up on the colors to the max.

I teased her about it but she kept doing it.  But maybe that was to bring us all along to see life just like she saw it: vibrant, colorful, and awe-inspiring.

Last, and certainly not least, Sarah was an…

My cousin Lauren said it best when she told me I won the ‘Mom lottery.’ 

I feel like all of us here are lottery winners. We are all so lucky to have meant enough to Sarah that we’re here. 

I’m not sure if I believe in God…but I do believe in the afterlife and I’m pretty damn sure I believe in reincarnation.  What did I do in a previous life to be the son of Sarah?  I must have done something really incredible like inventing the smallpox vaccine….or maybe I was the first person to turn avocados into guacamole. And, if so - you’re welcome.  

 And what did all of you here do in your previous lives to have been a part of Sarah’s?  

…what an incredible collection of fortunate souls we are here in this room.    

I will forever miss my mom and I would be a liar if I didn’t harbor a great deal of self-pity, frustration, and even anger that I only had 40 years with her.  But the emotion I have the most of is joy and pride.  And excitement.  She taught me how to live a life well lived not by telling me what to do but by DOING it herself.  And I’m really excited by how those lessons have and will continue to propel me forward into creating my own amazing adventure.  

She left an indelible mark on all of us and now it’s our turn to sustain her legacy by doing the same…

Thank you all for being here it means the world to the family and it means the world to Sarah”